I am not specifically choosing to single out the LDS religion from the rest of the world, religious or not, for any reason other than it was the specific topic of conversation that got my mind turning. I know that many other religions yield different results regarding the topic of successful marriage as well.
According to religioustolerance.org, a non-biased website that encourages understanding of other religions, Mormons do NOT have a significantly lower rate of divorce than non-Mormons. Before you discredit this information, let me first explain why it is that so many Mormons believe that those active in the LDS faith have lower divorce rates.
Temple marriages legally count as a civil union between a man and a woman. This can be rescinded just like any other civil union, and is. However, it is difficult to get a marriage canceled through the LDS church. The leaders are hesitant to do so and a majority of the time, a civil divorce is completed while the Temple divorce is not. Thus, in church records, there are many people still married who, in fact, have received civil divorces by the State. According to the church records, only 6% of Temple marriages end in divorce, because only 6% have been granted a divorce, while in reality, just under 50% of the Temple marriages have had civil divorces.
That said, I simply want to reiterate my disgruntlement at the skyrocketing divorce rate and use this research as validation of my intense skepticism regarding the decision to ever get married!
I am desperate to know why it is that the divorce rate is so high. Obviously religious involvement does not make anyone immune and I find it necessary to discover valid reasons for getting married when so many fail.
I guess more than anything, this is simply food for thought. I feel it is an alarming part of how Humanity is acting, regardless of politics or economic health.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/lds_divo.htm
B.A. Robinson
http://www.divorcereform.org/cau.html
Bernama - Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia
I think the reason divorce rates are so high at this time is two-fold; the first is a condition that has changed from the past, and one is a reality that has not.
ReplyDeleteHistorically, divorce has not always been so easy to attain, or so culturally accepted. I believe that 50 or 100 years ago in America, there were possible just a many unhappy marriages. But because divorce was frowned upon or disallowed in many cultures or religions, and divorcees shunned from society, there were not many that actually happened. thus the seeming rise in the modern statistic. It's just actually easier now.
Secondly, I believe that the core of unhappiness in marriage is selfishness. And our society today breeds selfish, self-absorbed people. How many ad campaigns contain the message "You deserve it"? From credit cards to hand lotion, it's all about the individual. Counselors advise unhappy people to focus more on themselves, and what is best for them alone in order to solve their problems. Even the decision to date or marry is often solely based on what makes ones self happy. The problem is that marriage is a two-party contract, no matter who does the officiating, and and a three-party contract if it is a religious one. Spouses now days are both unwilling and uneducated in how to bend their will to consider another person. Thus, the marriage fails.
Religious or temple marriages may have a better chance at survival if the principles of true, selfless love have been taught and applied. The great caveat to all this is, of course, is that is takes two. It is unlikely that a lone spouse can be selfless enough to overcome a selfish one.
Rather than fear "divorce" as an inescapable monster that will hunt you down and destroy your marriage, focus on the proven guarantee of success: creating a loving, selfless you, and choosing a loving, selfless spouse.
I like what you mentioned about how the Media is constantly advertising what we as consumers deserve. Even tho these obviously self-focused ads are prevalent, they fact they're not directly tied to anything to do with marriage, we fail to realize how they may affect our attitudes in relationships later on. All things have an affect on us in some way, some just may not be realized for years down the road. We should always be striving to realize the result that our current actions/influences may have on us later on in life.
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